I was drunk on the New Year day n sent a text to my Ex-Love. I don't think he is my ex-love, he is always in my heart. We let go of each other as we thought it would not work out. But no that doesn't seem to be true, he is my life. He is always in my thoughts. I always dream of life with him, not sure why am still not able to let go of him. He is my life. I pray that he gets back into my life and make my dream true.
Today evening, 3 of us gathered at our frens place and prepared Christmas cookies. It was whole lot of fun.
There is a lot of fun, joy and happiness making something on our own and with frens. We also made designs on the cookies. I will take them to work place and share with everyone.
I had been waiting to hear from doc n there wasn't a call since morning. Hope he calls sometime during this week. :)
I had good evening today. Had invited my ex-roomie and my colleague's family for tea. I had prepared gulab jammon, Upma and Coffee. We had lovely time with their lil one. She was so adorable and cute. She kept everyone busy with her cute mischievous acts. It feels so good to have lil ones around - their innocence, playfulness, talk, its all so amazing.
I had called the doc today, he sounded cheerful and good. He was at his frens place n mentioned to call back tomorrow. Am keeping my fingers crossed :D.
Today would have been my wedding if things have worked well. But I think everything happens for a reason and whatever happened am pretty sure something best is awaiting for me. A strange feeling has been enveloped me since morning not sure why so. I am feeling like crying my heart out. I feel like becoming numb to everything around.
The doc has not replied yet, not sure if he likes me or interested in me. I feel like ending my life but do not have enough guts to do so. I can't afford to leave my loving family behind in deep agony.
Am not sure how long I have to go through all this. Does God remember me or even feel my existence. Not sure why am still alive, am like a burden on this earth not useful for anything or anybody. I pray for my death everyday. Life sucks!
I have been waiting for the reply from the Doc. I like him and hope he likes me too. I can't stay alone like this forever. It hurts n I feel like I have fallen into an endless well. I have complete faith in God and I know that this time he will definitely make things happen. There have been couple of storms in my life. Its time that God showers his blessings on me and am sure he will do it. Hoping the doc will call me by Thursday. I hope he doesn't break my heart.
Yesterday I called home and got to know that Mom is not keeping well. Just in a moment I was overwhelmed with emotions and my heart started crying in pain. I have never see my Mom being so weak. I couldn't sleep well. I prayed to God again n again to get her well soon.
I had called home today and felt happy to know that Mom is feeling better. It's such a happy feeling to see parents happy. I wish she well soon. I wish her all the happiness in the world. She should always be happy. Its such a strange feeling and unimaginable that even the best person in the world - dear Mom is mortal.
One day everyone will have to leave the world, I wish I do before my Mom. I can't imagine my life without her. She means the world to me. Missing you badly Mom.
Love you my Mom!!
Mansa is reborn today. She had been deleted. A new beginning of life has started today.
The old self has been buried in the grave who was weak, scared of challenges and unwilling to take risks in life. The new self is now independent, strong, willing to take up challenges and emerge through them successfully. I have learnt to take risks n risk my life to any extent. I have discovered that once the fears are conquered the life becomes amazing and u learn to face life with whatever it offers you with and with each new challenge you learn lessons. This helps you grow and emerge into a beautiful being.
I am in love with my beautiful life and myself. This is an awesome feeling. Robin's books are helping me to discover myself, I love reading his books.
